Tunes, not chat

As much as I loved Massive Attack's set at Portsmouth Guildhall last night, and an excellent array of tunes and arresting visuals it was too (including a nice Terry Wogan tribute), my enjoyment of said gig was somewhat hampered by the drunken chatterboxes stood behind me who willfully bleated on throughout the show. It is my gig-going bugbear. My prime punter annoyance. Why pay £30+ for a ticket if you're going to talk all the way through the gig? Why cheer loudly when Horace Andy takes to the stage if you're just going to gab during his performance? Surely not just to piss me off, that they could've done far easier and cheaper than spending £££ for a ticket plus whatever to cover the amount of booze they'd imbibed. No matter, the Dave abides and, by shuffling my carcass slightly forward, I moved myself just about out of earshot (though slightly more up close and personal to some flat-cap wearing hipsters then I'd like) and could enjoy the show (and damn good it was too).

By my own admission, and no surprise to you reading this, I'm a bit of gig whore. I have been to a lot of shows over the years and, yes, I've sadly stood through too many that have been spoiled by someone crapping on about something when they should be listening. Venues have bars, if you want a chat go and stand there, prop up the counter and chew the fat. Don't stand next to me and talk to your mate about your favourite song, the one you want played at your wedding, that you then talk loudly through when the artist plays it (that was one time seeing Ed Harcourt) or just witter on incessantly and ignore the very British looks of umbrage that are being thrown in your direction (as happened at gigs by such fine artists as John Grant, Midlake and Sleaford Mods to name but three).

Last night's experience reminded me of times in The Cellars (RIP) where they had a notice pinned near the bar advising that it was a "listening venue"; if you spoke too loudly during a set then one of the bar staff would tell you off, and they weren't kidding either. Slightly less full on is a poster campaign by Independent Venue Week that makes the point very clearly; if the band is interrupting your conversation you're in the wrong place. Ideally venues shouldn't have to post up nanny state posters telling punters how to behave, nor should I have to waste pixels venting a small amount of spleen about some people I don't know who couldn't care less, but sadly that's just the way it is.

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(update - unfortunately the link to the IVW campaign appears to have expired, the posters are present via the illustrator though; click the image below to view them on Robbie Porter's website)