Nope.
It's no good.
I've tried to weave a gag mixing the top shelf magazine magnate Paul Raymond's passing with Rihanna's umbrella-ella ban but I just can't come up with anything.
Maybe I'm trying too hard.
*koff*
Moving swiftly on, herewith be the gigs what I blatantly lifted from the back pages of this week's NME:
Look See Proof @ Reaction, Poole - 29/03/2008
Midnight Juggernauts and Cazals @ The Barfly, Brighton - 21/03/2008
Does It Offend You Yeah? @ Mr C's, Poole - 22/03/2008
The Ting Tings @ The Wedgewood Rooms, Portsmouth - 06/04/2008
The Teenagers @ The Barfly, Brighton - 06/04/2008
Sia @ Komedia, Brighton - 08/04/2008
Ted Leo & The Pharmacists @ The Barfly, Brighton - 22/04/2008
Dirty Pretty Things @ Corn Exchange, Brighton - 28/05/2008
At some point yet to be decided, when I'm not out propping up a bar or perusing the delights of the Midnight Tandoori's fine menu, I'll update the SoMC Events Calendar with the gigs above. As I infer from time to time the Events Calendar is an almost invaluable tool for the average gig monkey, as it's just full of gigs. Like these for example:
The Matches @ The Joiners, Southampton - 05/03/2008
4ft Fingers @ The Cellars at Eastney, Portsmouth - 05/03/2008
A Man Down @ Unit 22, Southampton - 05/03/2008
Ruby Soho @ The Edge of The Wedge, Portsmouth - 05/03/2008
Ginger (of The Wildhearts), Idiot3 and Eureka Machines @ The Railway, Winchester - 05/03/2008
Mr Scruff (DJ) @ The Brook, Southampton - 06/03/2008
Jon Amor @ South Parade Pier, Portsmouth - 06/03/2008
Miss Conduct, Furisode, Finely Tuned Assassins and Dead Mile @ The Joiners, Southampton - 06/03/2008
Sarah Jane Morris @ Komedia, Brighton - 06/03/2008
Trash Fashion @ Unit 22, Southampton - 06/03/2008
Tina Dico @ Komedia, Brighton - 06/03/2008
Jazica, Fresh Legs, The Curves and Disaster By Design @ The Talking Heads, Southampton - 06/3/2008
Mary Jane @ The Hobbit, Southampton - 07/03/2008
The Godmothers of Invention @ The Brook, Southampton - 07/03/2008
One Weird Fish @ The Brickmakers, Swanmore - 07/03/2008
Charlie Dark @ Turner Sims Hall, Southampton - 07/03/2008
Good Shoes (DJ set) @ Little Johnny Russells, Portsmouth - 07/03/2008
Toupé and Ten To Never @ The Joiners, Southampton - 07/03/2008
The Bog Rolling Stones @ The Cellars at Eastney, Portsmouth - 07/03/2008
Sophie Wright @ Student Union, Southampton University - 07/03/2008
Blah Blah Blah and Sine Star Project @ The Railway, Winchester - 07/03/2008
The Dub Messengers and The Uplifter (DJ) @ The Talking Heads, Southampton - 07/03/2008
Cantaloop @ The Soul Cellar, Southampton - 08/03/2008
If 6 Were Nine @ The RMA Tavern, Portsmouth - 08/03/2008
You Me At 6 @ The Joiners, Southampton - 08/03/2008
Clayson & The Argonauts @ The Cellars at Eastney, Portsmouth - 08/03/2008
The Purple Project @ The Brook, Southampton - 08/03/2008
Craobh Rua @ Ashcroft Arts Centre, Fareham - 08/03/2008
Blah Blah Blah and The Stencils @ Lennons, Southampton - 08/03/2008
Eric's Trip @ The Edge of The Wedge, Portsmouth - 08/03/2008
Steve Arnott @ The Frog & Frigate, Southampton - 08/03/2008
Hardly Heroes, The Wide Eyes and Two Fingers Of Water @ The Studio at The Petersfield School - 08/03/2008
The Sensational Johnny Depps @ The Square Brewery, Petersfield - 08/03/2008
The Cropdusters @ The Talking Heads, Southampton - 08/03/2008
Buddy Whittington @ The Brook, Southampton - 09/03/2008
Man @ The Cellars at Eastney, Portsmouth - 09/03/2008
Polly & The Billets Doux, Vijay and Tali Trow @ The Railway, Winchester - 09/03/2008
The Teapot Junkies @ The Hobbit, Southampton - 09/03/2008
Kate Nash @ The Guildhall, Portsmouth - 09/03/2008
Miss Murdoch and Hip Fandango @ The Joiners, Southampton - 09/03/2008
RTP, Karen Harmony, Stu Ingram and Andy Muscat @ Drift, Southsea - 09/03/2008
The Exits, Cure The Disaster, Loose Tongue and Joby @ The Wedgewood Rooms, Portsmouth - 09/03/2008
Clannad @ The Dome, Brighton - 10/03/2008
Hardly Heroes, Leptany, Throwing Paper Aeroplanes and Midnight Dance Party @ The Wedgewood Rooms, Portsmouth - 10/03/2008
Steve Waterman Quartet @ The Inn Lodge, Portsmouth - 10/03/2008
Stiff Little Fingers @ The Brook, Southampton - 10/03/2008
Cliff Gater Band @ The Fat Fox, Portsmouth - 10/03/2008
Infadels @ The Joiners, Southampton - 10/03/2008
Sandi Thom @ The Talking Heads, Southampton - 10/03/2008
Red Priest @ Turner Sims Hall, Southampton - 11/03/2008
Aitch, Two Fingers Of Firewater, Emma King & The Heartsets and Bemis @ Little Johnny Russell's, Portsmouth - 11/03/2008
Carmen Souza @ The Forge, Basingstoke - 11/03/2008
Flies Are Spies From Hell and Helen Keller @ The Joiners, Southampton - 11/03/2008
Stencils, Last Action Hero, Gasbarpanic and Ten Letters @ The Talking Heads, Southampton - 11/03/2008
Becky Anderson, Amy & Charlie and Tremain @ The Edge of The Wedge, Portsmouth - 11/03/2008
Efterklang and Our Broken Garden @ The Talking Heads, Southampton - 26/03/2008
Chris Helme (ex-Seahorses) @ The Cellars at Eastney, Portsmouth - 26/03/2008
Chris Farlowe @ The Cellars at Eastney, Portsmouth - 12/04/2008
Live music from The Model Village and 47s, plus well spun tunes courtesy of Southsea Mafia DJs Lemon and will chuMp, are on offer at Waster this evening. Doors open at Portsmouth's Liquid Envy at at 2200, entrance is only £1 before 2300 (after which it's a still reasonable £3).
Champ Of The Day and Tom Dangerous are the guests at Roger Courtney's Open Mike Club tomorrow night, Thursday 6th March, in The Barn at The Milton Arms in Portsmouth. The regular Open Mike session follows afterward, the usual two song limit applies for those wanting to take the stage and entertain the crowd. Admission is FREE and the doors open at 1900.
The Hobbit in Southampton will be holding the first Access Festival fundraiser of the year this Saturday, 8th March. The line-up includes The Wild Oats, The Sways, The Steve Lowis Trio and Fiona Bevan. Entrance is £3 (£2 if you sport a festival badge) and doors open at 2000.
Hipshaker descends on The Wedgewood Rooms in Portsmouth this Saturday, 8th March, for another blistering evening of classic 60s soul, funk and R&B served up by the resident DJs, with live music from The Racketeers on offer as well. Doors open at 2130 and tickets are £5.
The fifth Portsmouth Showcase takes place at The Guildhall in Portsmouth this Saturday, 8th March. Confirmed to appear are Django, The Rebel Ching, Hijera, Palais and The Darling Age. Tickets are £9 in advance, £10 on the door, and there's an after party at Drift in Southsea too (which is nice).
Portsmouth's VUE cinema will be showing a special presentation of the Muse's new live DVD, HAARP, filmed at Wembley last summer. The high definition screening takes place on Tuesday 11th March at £10, tickets can be purchased via the VUE website.
And this me done for another week. This afternoon I have mostly been listening to INXS and The Shins. Join me next week when I'll be wondering where the light switch is.
:o)
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